Saturday, April 28, 2007

When is an Opportunity Missed?

There were yellow irises and maroon irises blooming in my garden on Monday of last week. They were beautiful. I thought to myself, I should cut some of them, take them into my studio and photograph them. But then I thought, no I don’t have the time. I have too much to do. I have WORK to do. Taking photographs would be fun, I should do my WORK first.

The interesting thing about WORK is that it expands to fill all available time.

Today is Saturday. The iris blossoms are gone.
I missed my opportunity.

That opportunity is gone until next year. BUT, when is an opportunity truly missed? Can we save an opportunity that has gone by?

In April of 2006, my husband did not survive his first heart attack and died. Many people sent cards and a few wrote beautiful letters expressing their sorrow at my loss.

I was unable to write back to them.

For people who know me, it is very unusual for me not to be able to write a thoughtful expression for almost every occasion. I have been writing all of my life.

I lost a part of my soul when he died. That center part of me was the well-spring of my writing. His stability, his love for me and the comfort I had known throughout our 17 year marriage was gone. I was lost.

I appreciated every expression of condolence more than people could know—because I couldn’t tell them.

Gradually, over time, I was able to talk with most of them. But there were a few that I didn’t know well, that I wasn’t sure whether to write and that I didn’t know what to say.

Seeing the irises bloom and fade without any action on my part spurred me to realize that the only things preventing me from talking with these people were my embarrassment and my failure to make the time to do it.

Yesterday I made time—During the WORK day, no less.

I made up my mind to do it and I had two lovely conversations. A new connection made with each of them. A missed opportunity regained.

Sometimes the fear and pressure of losing an elderly relative prevents people from making contact. In almost all instances, your effort is worthwhile.

I still have a few people left to contact, but I will make time again soon.

I hope you do too.

Thanks for sharing a few minutes with me.
Ellen

Ellen Wass Beckerman
Writer/Photographer/Graphic Designer
www.gardentextures.com

Monday, April 23, 2007

Today Is A Great Day To Begin

Last week I realized that I was pushing myself to complete all of the activities on my task list without taking into account whether there was enough time in my day. I had stopped doing my yoga, I was eating only when starving and I didn’t feel that I could take even 5 minutes to meditate.

Naturally, I felt miserable.

I had a friend tell me—isn’t it great to know that all those things DO make a difference in your life?

So today, I begin again.

Not with a full workout, simply a gentle stretch. My lower back muscles have been sore from sitting working at my computer—a full set of yoga stretches would be a mistake. The old “no pain, no gain” would probably put everything into spasm and then where would I be? (Miserable and in pain.)

No, today I walked out onto my back deck and smelled the breeze. I gently performed a modified forward bend and then some other beginning stretches. It is a beautiful day to begin.

There is nothing wrong with beginning. (Even if it seems as if that is the place you start again and again.) Each beginning is a chance to care for yourself and treat yourself well.

There’s a new book out this year, called This Year I Will… by MJ Ryan. It’s funny and inspiring. She helps each of us realize that no one is perfect. The process of changing and growing is messy and filled with moments where it’s more than possible to feel like a failure. BUT, the awareness of failing is the beginning of true change.

It is uncomfortable.

BUT, if you can persist through your uncomfortable feelings, learn from your experiences—you can achieve lasting change.

Today is a great day to begin.

Thanks for sharing a few minutes with me.
Ellen

Here's a link to MJ Ryan's book, This Year I Will…

Ellen Wass Beckerman
Writer/Photographer/Graphic Designer
www.gardentextures.com

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Name Two Things You Care About

Many of us struggle to get through our day—our mundane activities keep us so busy, I'm not sure we even think about whether we care or not. BUT, take a moment and name two things that you care passionately about. Are any of the scheduled activities you have today related to something or someone you care about?
My two things are:
1) Photography. I am crazy about light and shadow. I am also passionately in love with noticing small details. The texture of of our lives is for me what makes living worthwhile.

2) Teaching Technology to the Poor. I have the great privilege of being an instructor for a series evening classes in Statesville, NC that teaches Computer Skills for Employment. I use a computer every day for my job, my research and my hobbies. Most computer users can’t imagine a life without their computers. (Just notice what happens when the power goes out.) There are many things that computer-savvy people take for granted, such as applying online for a job or emailing a resume, that non-computer users do not have access to or do not know how to do.

Name your two things. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone did something that they cared passionately about.

Thanks for sharing a few minutes with me.
Ellen

Ellen Wass Beckerman
Writer/Photographer/Graphic Designer
www.gardentextures.com

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Morning's Grace


I've been struggling to get through my day today.

It hasn't been particularly difficult in terms of activities, I was at the car dealership to have my car repaired.

But, sitting in the waiting room, I heard more news of the tragedy at Virgina Tech over and over again throughout the day. My heart breaks with sorrow at their losses.

It reminds me of the death of my husband last year at this time. He died of a heart attack. One moment we were watching television together and two hours later he died in the hospital emergency room. I am still struggling with missing him and it has been a year. My life was changed permanently by his death.

I try to keep in mind a few things:

Rest when you are tired, let go of your burdens for a short while.

Even in pain, keep your heart open.

There is enough love in the world; especially when things don't make sense and we don't understand; love is the only thing that remains constant.

Thanks for sharing a few minutes with me.
Ellen

Ellen Wass Beckerman
Writer/Photographer/Graphic Designer
www.gardentextures.com

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

My Philosophy

1) Kindness and patience are at the top of my list.

2) I will listen to you.

3) I believe that we can make a connection with every person we meet.

4) Technology is like a good shovel—it's meant to dig deeper faster—but it's not a replacement for a good gardener.


If you love this illustration, check out the illustrator's portfolio at www.istockphoto.com/dovestudios



Thanks for sharing three minutes with me.
Ellen

Ellen Wass Beckerman
Writer/Photographer/Graphic Designer
www.gardentextures.com

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

SPEND A MOMENT Instead of A DOLLAR


How many times have you gone to the mall because you were bored and bought something you didn’t need? Or the next day after purchasing a new something—thought why did I buy this?

The next time you are feeling restless, bored or lonely—try this:

SPEND A MOMENT instead of A DOLLAR.

Three Things To Do In Less Than Three Minutes (Or take MORE time if you are having fun!)

1) Lie down on a blanket and LOOK AT THE CLOUDS in the sky. What shapes do you see? What memories does this bring back? CALL your best friend and share your thoughts.

2) DRINK A CUP of tea. Find the best tasting tea in your cupboard and notice everything about making a cup of tea from boiling the hot water to the sound of the tea bag dropping in the cup (or the water poured over loose tea). Notice the change in the color of the water as it steeps. When do you notice a fragrance? How does it smell? Once your tea is ready. Notice everything you can about your first sip and your first taste.

3) SEARCH the deepest, darkest corner of your closet. Ignore all of the STUFF in the front. Spend three minutes in the BACK. What’s there? Why? Did you find something you’ve forgotten about? Did you find a treasure? Did you find three old shirts that you can give away? If this activity brings up an unhappy memory, gently think about it. Can you let both the object and the feeling go at this moment in your life? If you’d like to keep what you found, can you bring it out into the light and use it every day?

Thanks for sharing three minutes with me.
Ellen

Ellen Wass Beckerman
Writer/Photographer/Graphic Designer
www.gardentextures.com

Monday, April 16, 2007

REVERSE Busy-ness in Five Minutes

Everyone is busy today. Busy-ness CLOSES doors, DECREASES our interactions with other people, and SHUTS DOWN our hearts and minds.

Busy-ness IS REVERSIBLE.

GIVE yourself the gift of 5 minutes. Set a timer and do one of the things below.

WARNING SIGN: If your first thought upon reading the sentence above is “I don’t have the time!!”; then you should do this exercise immediately.

FIVE THINGS to do in only FIVE MINUTES
1) MEDITATE. Listen to Your Breathing. Relax.
You don’t have to DO anything. Stop. Listen. Breathe. Create the space for something unscheduled come into your life.

2) STRETCH with 5 Sun Salutations (Or any exercise of your choice.)
How many times have you been told to exercise 30 minutes a day? You haven't begun yet, because you can't figure out where the extra time could possibly come from.

Start with five minutes instead. Many of us set goals so high and objectives so big that we are overwhelmed before we begin. (Failing in the beginning of a goal is a great excuse to stop.)

START with a goal that is so simple, so easy, and so much fun that you will succeed immediately. Increase your goals SLOWLY and in SMALL steps. SUCCEED with each step. String together lots of successes over a period of time and you can achieve a really big goal in a fun, easy way.

3) REFLECT on 5 things in your life.
Focus is the key to achieving almost everything. Being busy all the time saps our strength and causes us to feel a sense of loss or a feeling of being deprived. Acknowledge your accomplishments and your blessings. Take a moment to feel positive about what you've done before moving on to the next task on your list.

Note: Sometimes and in some situations, we may not feel grateful for anything. If that is your case, then I extend a big, heartfelt hug to you and recommend that you try the Meditation exercise. Create a moment of space and comfort. Rest. By changing your awareness, you’ll allow the space for something good to happen in your life.

4) REMEMBER the first time in your life that you were happy.
It's ironic that some of our worst moments and memories in life often stick with us longer than our happy ones. Change the groove of your record (Or in more up-to-date terms: Change the song on your MP3!) Think about happy times. What qualities that made them memorable? Can you add more of those qualities to your life today?

5) TELL Someone Them You Love Them & Why
I have had many people tell me: “Of course, I love my spouse, my parents, etc.”

BUT, how would they know?

Do you call them? Do you email them? A lack of communication leads to a loss of connection. If YOU are feeling lonely, then someone you love could also be feeling lonely.

Our connections are our strength. Love gives us more than enough energy to get through a busy day. The next time you are tempted to buy something because you are feeling empty or lonely—Spend a Moment Instead Of A Dollar—tell someone you love them.


NAME one thing you would do, if you had five minutes

NAME one reason why you aren’t doing it.


Thanks for sharing five minutes with me.
Ellen

Ellen Wass Beckerman
Writer/Photographer/Graphic Designer
www.gardentextures.com