When is an Opportunity Missed?

There were yellow irises and maroon irises blooming in my garden on Monday of last week. They were beautiful. I thought to myself, I should cut some of them, take them into my studio and photograph them. But then I thought, no I don’t have the time. I have too much to do. I have WORK to do. Taking photographs would be fun, I should do my WORK first.

The interesting thing about WORK is that it expands to fill all available time.

Today is Saturday. The iris blossoms are gone.
I missed my opportunity.

That opportunity is gone until next year. BUT, when is an opportunity truly missed? Can we save an opportunity that has gone by?

In April of 2006, my husband did not survive his first heart attack and died. Many people sent cards and a few wrote beautiful letters expressing their sorrow at my loss.

I was unable to write back to them.

For people who know me, it is very unusual for me not to be able to write a thoughtful expression for almost every occasion. I have been writing all of my life.

I lost a part of my soul when he died. That center part of me was the well-spring of my writing. His stability, his love for me and the comfort I had known throughout our 17 year marriage was gone. I was lost.

I appreciated every expression of condolence more than people could know—because I couldn’t tell them.

Gradually, over time, I was able to talk with most of them. But there were a few that I didn’t know well, that I wasn’t sure whether to write and that I didn’t know what to say.

Seeing the irises bloom and fade without any action on my part spurred me to realize that the only things preventing me from talking with these people were my embarrassment and my failure to make the time to do it.

Yesterday I made time—During the WORK day, no less.

I made up my mind to do it and I had two lovely conversations. A new connection made with each of them. A missed opportunity regained.

Sometimes the fear and pressure of losing an elderly relative prevents people from making contact. In almost all instances, your effort is worthwhile.

I still have a few people left to contact, but I will make time again soon.

I hope you do too.

Thanks for sharing a few minutes with me.
Ellen

Ellen Wass Beckerman
Writer/Photographer/Graphic Designer
www.gardentextures.com